The naughty girl called Love

Love, I believe, was once a sweet child. She rested in the hearts of people and gave them solace. Who knows when she got naughty and since has started doing all the mischief!

Of late whoever I have been talking to is suffering from the same disease: love. Someone is in a relationship and does not know if s/he is actually in love. Someone was in a relationship, then broke up, and yet is extremely close to the person he loved and has no clue what is going on between them. Someone is hopelessly searching for an answer as to why his true love was not returned.  Was it even something you could even remotely call love? Or was it a mere game of two hearts, just there and then it vanished? Everyone went their separate ways and everything was forgotten. Except when you suddenly remember those brief moments of togetherness. You want to believe maybe they were true, but you have made a choice and have to live by it.

I understand man is what his decisions are. Every situation brings with a gamut of possibilities. It poses to you a few alternatives. You choose one, based on your circumstances. Sometimes you are confident and sure of your choice and sometimes you are not. Nonetheless you make a decision. You make a choice. Then you live by it. Sometimes while you are doing that you feel your choice was wrong. You might want to go back and make it right. But that path is closed. Hence comes pain and remorse. Sometimes you just accept that no matter you are hurting, you got to live by the choice you made. So, you make compromises with your own heart, make it go the way you want it to and live a content life. Content, but only in the outward appearance.

Underneath a thin mask of happiness you are broken, you are as fragile as a piece of glass. You have a smile painted on your face, you talk to people and make them happy. Underneath you are burning. In most cases, you will realize it. In certain cases, if you are lucky enough, you will not even know that you are not happy. You will forever remain in the illusion of a happiness that you decided for yourself, and never actually got.

Nevertheless, life goes on, seasons change and rivers drag their dirt to the oceans. Hence we shall live, on and on, whether or not we find the true meaning of Love. Until then, let Love be the naughty girl that she is and help it create heaps of pages and web-pages of pathetic love-stories, or maybe one or two hopeless blog entries as these.

Living the internet life

The Internet by Bernard Howe

The internet is, a fountain of information. its available to everyone, in every nation. Pages for children to read and enjoy along with the spam which can really annoy. Poetry and forums for everyone's pleasure just about anything, even selling your treasure. Its even used everyday in our schools it has lots of help and good learning tools. Ethics are used by those who do care and often free help with things we do share. Friendships has spread all over the earth I even made a friend who lives way down in Perth. I enjoy it so much, I think I'm addicted I think I was warned, as this was predicted.

One of the wonders of modern technology is the Internet. When I was younger I used to hear about all the wonderful things you could do through it, get all the information, watch videos and movies, download tons of things and well, make friends.

As strange as it may sound, I have been able to access this amazing tool to my heart’s content only since the last one year. Or maybe, even less. But no matter how small that time is, I am already hooked into it.

One of my first interactions with internet was a writing website. It remains one of my most favorite sites to this date. Through it I have come in touch with people around the world, read their anecdotes and made friends all around.

And it was only one of my American friends there who suggested I join facebook. I had heard a lot about it. Many of my friends were also on it. But I was in 12^th when I actually got to have my own gmail account. Hence I could not trust myself to join up a site that gobbles up the major portion of time for teens like me. My facebook account is pretty dumb, still as I do on go about adding everyone out there. I am very much choosy about it and add up people who are relevant to me. I want to be in touch with people who are important to me, not to just blindly increase the number of friends on facebook. That also helps to keep my wall uncluttered.

In my brief time on internet I have come across so many people, from so many different corners of the world. In fact, I think I have talked to more people outside India than within in through the internet. And in their own ways they have left an impact on my life. I have never been a very extrovert sort of person, even though I am not the most unfriendly of people. Just that I was shy. But over the net I am way too candid. I can all about all things that I would consider stupid to speak face-to-face. These people that I interact with on day-to-day basis now are as much real to me as the people who are physically around me. They share with me their problems as I share my own with them. When I am sad they are the ones who comfort me. And they are the ones who offer me suggestions on to overcome my problems.

As much as I hate to live in an age which is polluted in every sense of the word, I am indeed glad that I belong to a time when the whole world is literally in our drawing room. There are so many things we can access through the internet, and it is never going to end. In the mean time I will make friends, and maybe meet some people who would shape my life in the future.

Grey mist and an abandoned ship

Sometimes we just lose the meaning of life, forget why even we are on this Earth. Life seems so vacant then. Wherever we look there is a vast emptiness, covered in thick grey mist. Wherever you look there is this thick veil and you can not see past it, or beyond it. You wish if even for once some flash light would stream through that thickness, show you exactly where you are headed. But you are like in an old, abandoned ship in the middle of nowhere. You can feel the sea moving your vessel; you can feel the waves tossing you. But your vision is still vacant.

You lose hope; you do not feel like doing anything. You might want to try to do something, but you do not know where to begin. The things that you loved lost their meanings, things that made you smile no longer makes you happy. What do you do then, wait for the veil to uplift itself, or find a candle in that old, abandoned ship?

This happens to me often. Yes, too often. At some points I just can not understand what to do, how to find a way. I just want to sit still and think about something, meditate on something. But the more I want to focus the more clouded my mind gets.

Then out of nowhere something happens, and I can not even pinpoint what that is. But slowly, I can feel the grey veil uplifting itself. Things come out of hibernation, and I feel the ray of activeness in my being again. I feel energetic. I understand where to begin. I get the aim of my life, and then I sail off. Until the grey mist covers my vision again.

Just wondering how long will this cycle go on; when finally will I reach my concrete shore and know I will never have to meander through the haze again?

A road to no-where

You were walking along a path
and you wanted it to be green.
You wished it were peopled
with your friends and your dreams,
and brought along with it name and fame,
and success to bind them all.

Years pass…you travel down that lane.
Long before you have realized this road leads to nowhere
(not, at least, the place from your dreams).
You wish things were different;
You wish you never had chanced upon this road.
But truth is it was destined for you
And you were made to choose.

You will never be happy as you go down that path
You are so tired you dare not dream of fresh light.
All you want now is the road to lead you somewhere,
a place where you can get some rest and peace.
And forget all about this rat-race to succeed.