An Autumn Song

If I could wear your smile
Or be as stringent as you are;
If I could look above the thinning skyline
And spread my hands like a bare-thread scarecrow,
Filling my lungs with  solid mass of solitary air,
I would not muse again
Or let me voice break.

I watch the sparrows gather twigs
Make careful nests, in clumsy evenings,
when I have no place to visit,
no men to see.
I watch the rain make patterns on window sills.
I watch and make a thousand wish
Placing a detached eyelash on the back of my hand
I smile, inward,
Miss certain roads, certain avenues,
Certain fallen leaves before Summer came.

Past and Present merge
I turn over a new leaf
All the time knowing,
It's not that I don't love you anymore.
Rather, my love, like a pouting child, has hidden her face
In stubborn and childish anger,
In deaf refusal,
Alone, so alone.

To Mars

I can see Mars from my window
Against a chalky grey sky
Bulging out, red eye of the Devil,
A pole of my solitude


Every day I walk beside all
And your hands brush against mine
Every day I murmur under my breath
The calm of your eyes
The undulation of your lips.


And beaming sunshine in gleaming vessels
A deceased telescope
 My Mars watches out for me
Every day he is farther
And every day I am alone.


Give me a hand to dream
A mumbled care to hold
Give me a silence for the gorging tears
And a kiss for my soul.

On Life and Memories...

Life mocks memory and 
Tears trickle down
Gloom of days gone by
Blues of stuffed desires
And
Desires of stuffed blues
By gone days of gloom
Down trickle tears
And memory mocks life

Pangs...

I have seen her lying on her back … her fair hand over her slightly-agape mouth to stop the choking sobs. I have seen her cheeks glistening, lines culminating at the corners of her mouth. She tasted their saltiness, too lost to wipe the streaks off. Her voice grew nasal. Every time she had to talk she cleared her throat, sneezed and lied that she had caught a cold.

Thus she deceived her room-mates in a place far away from home. Walls changed colors, rooms changed shape. Surprisingly, back home, her mother always found out. Perhaps the poor lady thought of it as a result of homesickness. Assuming it as the only cause, tear drops would inadvertently taint the mother’s cheeks as well. She could not have been farther from the truth.

I have seen her lying thus on her back … eyes staring blankly at the walls, thoughts racing in her mind, always keeping pace with the tears on her cheeks.

He didn’t care. I don’t know how long she would.

Possessed

Image courtesy: From internet

My ruffled hair stretches from the skies

Unto grounds of utmost desires

My feelings, crawling earthworms,

Only a soil so moist can make me sleep.

Give me a tear of your own

I shall water the sapling of my heart

I am parched, I bleed thirst

Take my memories, let me weep.

Let me fly now, some place in blue

Let me fly now, no more shall I
In my cocoon, helplessly cry.
Despondent tears, grudges of life;
No more shall I give in to strife.
Peels of feelings, throbbing wild-fire, buried somehow;
Inflicted pains, bruises and wounds…let me fly now.

Some place in blue, pale blue of sky
Weary feathers shall rise so high!
And tears that were shed would now cease,
As I let myself taste the breeze.
Shackles of your glory, now fallen and untrue
Let me fly now, spreading my wing, some place in blue.

TRUST

Watch me open my limbs

Slowly move my fingers

Spread my hands apart

Watch me slowly move my lips

Watch my eye lids flutter

I were asleep

I were hidden

Under layers and layers of silk

A sudden ray of light

In a thick foggy morning

Vapors of Unholy rising around

You discovered me

You have watched me open my limbs

You have watched my body slowly opening to you

You have watched with wonder-struck eyes

Gulping every movement of my fragile being

You have marveled at who I am

 You have smiled as you watched me grow

I have opened my eyes to you

I have seen your eyes

The gentle flickers in your wonder-stuck mirrors

I closed my eyes again, so content that I had been found

I lay there, blood running fast in my spirited veins

My body bent with the shivers of excitement

Of being watched

Of being marveled

My cheeks turned red in response

Blushing, like wine sparkling in your glass

My heart full of trust

My skin felt warmer with every passing minute

Heating up fast

Tremors of heat balling up

I opened my eyes to you

To feel again the warmth of your eyes

And then I saw…

The blood devilish red in your eyes

The fire of darkest forest in them

Burning like lava

Burning my skin, melting my fragile being

My eyes wide in horror

My delicate lips crumpled up in shiver

Your touch running through me

Tremors of distrust making waves in my heart